MORE MORONS

GEODE HUNTERS AND THE LITTLE DOG TUE SIGNIN LOG AT OUT "BRIDGE OUT" CACHE IN FORT WAYNE

It is 5:47 a.m. and 67.0 degrees out. Got some rain yesterday, haven't checked on how much. Patrick got up with me and promptly went downstairs to start his second sleep shift with Junior.

Lindsey Lohan got caught driving recklessly, well over the alcohol limit , and with stolen coke in her pocket. She must have stolen it, for she claims it's not hers... What an idiot!! No one will insure her to do a movie now. Bet she's dropped from the one she's about to do. These people who've got it made, and they throw it all away. Join Vick, baby! There must be a thousand chicks in SoCa alone, just as pretty, just as talented, and with tits just as big -- so let's give one of them a chance, and trash-can Lindsey.

We hear Kat McPhee, our erstwhile Idol choice, is about to do a film... Watch out Hollyweird!!

From Mark via email:

Two farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.

Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going

through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the

Community College and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next

day, Jim goes down to the college and meets dean of admissions, who

signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and

Logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a

weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater,

I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard,

I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might

logically have a family."

"Yes, I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then

logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic

tells me you're likely a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to

find out all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's

hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his

classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed

eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer."

That's all, Folks!

Go Gators!! (38 days til Kickoff!)