JOHN McCAIN FOR PRESIDENT

What you COULD have had....

It is 7:24 a.m. and 30.6 degrees and the criks are high. Junior and Patrick are asleep.

It's sad some folks have to live their lives in screwy drama, eh? God grant them serenity.

Junior is livid with John McCain and swears he'll never vote for him.

OK, so he may be a turncoat republicrat, and he may not be a conservative, BUT: He WILL pursue the War on Global Terrorism, and after all, when you get in that booth are you really gonna vote for a monkey-eared Black Muslim or a Communist Ice-Queen? John McCain, is after all, at the very least, a Patriotic American. I'll proudly stand beside him. I wouldn't cross the street to spit on Hillary if she was on fire. Just my two cents worth...

Trust in the Lord.

--Trader Rick

from the inbox via Cathy:

PET RULES
> 
> To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door -
> nose height.
>
> Dear Dogs and Cats,
>
> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain
> your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my
> food.  Please note, placing a paw print in the
> middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
> for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find
> that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
>
> The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
> racetrack.  Beating me to the bottom is not the
> object.  Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
> faster than you can run.
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.
> I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will
> continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
> comfort.  Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a
> ball when they sleep.  It is not necessary to sleep
> perpendicular to each other stretched out to the
> fullest extent possible.  I also know that sticking
> tails straight out and having tongues hanging out
> the other end to maximize space is nothing but
> sarcasm.
>
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from
> the bathroom.  If by some miracle I beat you there
> and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary
> to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get
> your paw under the edge and try to pull the door
> open.  I must exit through the same door I entered.
> Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
> --canine or feline attendance is not required.
>
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other
> dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
>
> To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the
> following message on our front door:
>
> To All  Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain
> About Our Pets:
>
> 1. They live here.  You don't.
>
> 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes,
> stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it
> 'fur'niture.)
>
> 3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most
> people.
>
> 4. To you, it's an animal.  To me, he/she is an
> adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on
> all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
>
>
> Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because
> they:
>
> 1. Eat less
> 2. Don't ask for money all the time
> 3 Are easier to train
> 4. Normally come when called
> 5. Never ask to drive th e car
> 6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
> 7. Don't smoke or drink
> 8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
> 9. Don't want to wear your clothes
> 10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college,
> and...
> 11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their
> children.