THE FAT LADY SANG

It's 5:47 a.m. Patrick is still in bed and Junior is at a friend's house.

Well. let's keep it real dogs!

The Idol finalists went head to head last night, and according to Simon, Taylor won. Our translation of the Judges' comments had Taylor at 97%, Kat at 92%.

The actual score, as revealed by our objective analysis was Kat 108%, Goofy-boy 71%.

It seemed like it was a Taylor crowd, and he was clearly the judges' favorite. Will this depress the Katharine vote, or energize them?

We've invested a lot of time and effort in rooting for Katharine, and now it's up to the producers to manipulate the vote and decide who's the winner.

Opposite Idol was the Academy of Country Music Awards 41st annual show. Is that the same as the CMA's or different?

Anyway , the head-to-head competition there was betweeen two Idol alums, Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson, and there was no doubt about the winner.

Carrie was looking radiant in a sexy gown while she sang "Jesus Take the Wheel", her hit single. She broke down at the end, and couldn't sing the last note, so overwelmed was she by the love coming from the crowd, which was on its feet. Only a few minutes later, still teary eyed, she accepted the Award for Single of the Year for the song, and later the Award for best new rookie female singer of the year.

Poor Kelly, clearly out of her element, struggled with a song with rascal flats, in a bizzarely strange and goofy outfit.

But REBA made the headline of the night with her comment about the Ditzy Bitches. These anti-American sluts had recanted their "apology" to President Bush for Nastalie's comment in a foreign country that they were ashamed that President Bush was from Texas. The little porker said he deserved no respect. Then, one of the other idiots, the horse faced one, I think, really stepped in it by decaring that they only wanted "cool" fans that "got it", and would rather have a few of those, than be in a five CD changer with the likes of Toby Kieth and Reba. I sincerely hope they get their wish.

I don't know what these morons have against Reba, I 'm not tapped into the country music scene, but on the show last night Reba said she was nervous about the evening, but "if the Dixie Chicks can sing with their foot in their mouth, I can host this sucker!"

Good for you Reba. She's a class act.