THEY WALK AMONG US

2007 Darwin Awards

> >
> > Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
> > bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us during the last year.
> >
> > Here is the glorious winner:
> >
> > 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
> > during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot
> > did
> > something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
> > tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
> >
> > And now; the honorable mentions:
> >
> > 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
> > machine and, after a little sh opping around, submitted a claim to his
> > insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
> > men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
> > finger. The chef's claim was approved.
> >
> > 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
> > during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
> > had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> >
> > 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
> > driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
> > transporting from
> > Hara re to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
> > the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there
> > a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
> > telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to
> > bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
> >
> > 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
> > head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
> > the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
> > close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
> >
> > 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
> > counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
> > the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
> > the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
> > fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
> > got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
> > you money, is a crime committed?]
> >
> > 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> > that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
> > some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
> > his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
> > would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store
> > window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
> >
> > 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
> > grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
> > woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
> > Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
> > the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
> > the car and told to stand there for a posi tive ID. To which he replied,
> > "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
> >
> > 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
> > Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
> > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
> > open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
> > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
> > frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
> >
> > 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
> > on a Seattle street, he go t much more than he bargained for. Police
> > arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
> > home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
> > to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
> > home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
> > press charges saying that it was the<> best laugh he'd ever had.
> >
> >
> > In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your
> > friends and family... Unless of course one of these individuals by
> > chance is a
> > distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, b e glad they are
> > distant and hope they remain lost.
> >
> > *** Remember... They walk among us!