I have just completed a series of interviews with some local zombies, or "Undead" as they prefer to be called.
I've confirmed some facts that most folks may not realize about them.
1. They smell really awful. It's hard to get close to them without gaging. All that rotting flesh, I suppose. Most democrats smell funny also.
2. Their communication skills are limited. Mostly grunts and growls and head bobs. Not good at multi-tasking. They get focused on one thing and get all fixated. Sort of like democrats parroting nonsensical or inaccurate talking points.
3. While not displaying an abundance of cunning, their actions appear to be far superior in terms of logic and reason than anyones I've encountered who is even remotely connected to the democrat party.
4. Female zombies, even when fully clothed in rags, are far more alluring than most democrat women.
5. When you invite Zombies for tea, they tend to spill stuff , knock over things and leave stains on the furniture. The democrats do the same, but you have to listen to their lies and anti-American rhetoric the whole time.
Next Week: Why I would rather my daughter marry a Vampire, than a democrat.